As more Anti-Vaxxers spurn common sense and embark on the short trek to Hell, the burden on the borders is beginning to buckle.  It would have been welcoming news for Hell’s diversity issues had the majority of new border crossers not been white.  Border Patrol Officer Margaret Thatcher stated, “We are being inundated by a barrage of Karens, Proud Boy Band members and Eric Clapton disciples.”  Thatcher continued, “We need help here.” The 10-year veteran Border Officer’s plea has evidently landed on deaf ears within Hell’s ruling circle. The Department of Inferno affairs, when asked about the steps being taken to rectify the crisis at the border, declined to comment.

 

We are being inundated by a barrage of Karens, Proud Boy Band members and Eric Clapton disciples

Border Officer

Acclaimed author and now real estate agent, Niccolò Machiavelli, indicated, “The problem isn’t the border, the problem is the reason they are coming here. Hell is not entirely free of blame here. We influenced their social media platforms, we helped start unhealthy conspiracy theories about the vaccine. We endorsed bleach for god’s sake. They are here because of our actions. Now we want to send them back?”

“Sending them back as some of my colleagues have suggested is out of the question. We do not want a Walking Dead scenario here,” intoned former Alabama Gov George Wallace and now Professor of African American Studies at the University of The 1st Circle of Hell.

 

Sending them back as some of my colleagues have suggested is out of the question. We do not want a Walking Dead scenario here.

Gov George Wallace

As the Circles of Hell twiddle their thumbs, the crisis lingers with no clear end in sight.

 

 

 

 

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