It may be the lure of actions without consequences, it may be the family friendly Hitler Attractions Theme Park, but something is driving a large number of white people to Hell. A recent poll conducted by the Department of Inferno Affairs revealed a majority of Hell’s population is now White.  The Department’s spokesperson stated, “We f**ked up. We thought it would stop with an apple on a tree, and the occasional embarrassing naked pics. But then the Cain and Abel scandal happened, followed by a series of unapologetic unchecked raging homicidal tendencies towards murders, colonization, slavery, racism, genocide, and Eric Clapton. We simply didn’t think it would go this far for this long.”   

We love it here; we get to express our true selves, women do what we say, Pat Boone on repeat.

Proud Boy Band Member

A push for more open borders has been meet with great opposition by those who say Hell will remain a pure white realm. (It must be stated that Hell at a time was Demon run until they themselves opened their borders to receive the now more populous white denizens.) A Proud Boy Band Member said, “We love it here; we get to express our true selves, women do what we say, Pat Boone on repeat. Yes there might be the occasional anal rape inflicted on us, the poke torture, the persistent heat, the smell of burning flesh so vile it robs us of our other senses. The feces we ingest for breakfast at the Hilton, the capitulation of our manhood to what I want to call a Bear. But what’s a few inconveniences for the price of freedom.” 

“We believe everyone should share in the experience of Hell. Diversity invites innovation and a way for people to feel superior to others.” Department’s spokesperson.

A variety of factors play into the high white population. And the issues linger on worsening day by day.  

 

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